I go to a particularly competitive public high school, where anything short of an A is deemed “not good enough”, where students are constantly competing against one another, even if they’re unaware that they’re doing so. Everyone here is nothing short of amazing, and yet almost none of them believe so. Many have gaping holes in their development, holes where self-confidence and the ability to relax would usually be found.
Don’t mistaken me: I love my school. It’s one of the best in the area, and I definitely enjoy going to school, having encouraging teachers, and high quality school events and opportunities. The staff and guidance counselors are always at the top of their game, doing their best to create a healthy school environment. There is time for fun to be had, and ample time at that.
The fatal flaw lies within the mentalities of the students themselves. With the amount of amazing students at this school, each often feels lesser than another and continues to apply pressure to themselves, ignoring individual growth. The line between learning and achieving becomes blurred, and we all together forget the purpose of school: to learn and become better people. It’s an environment that is nurturing, but even the hardiest of us find it quite intense. If you were to ask people in my school whether they studied for pure knowledge or for the A, majority would side with the latter.
And I can tell you, my school is not the only one like this.
We need to tell students: it’s okay to take breaks, it’s okay to get a B, it’s okay to sometimes fall behind, but to always get back up. Students don’t realize it, but they often put an exceedingly unnatural amount of pressure on themselves, and don’t realize until after graduating. They end up discounting or all together removing an important part of the teen experience: enjoying high school.
It took me a time to feel this way, to realize something pivotal: life doesn’t stop when you graduate. Many teens have a mentality that they have to power through high school, wring their entire life force into getting into the best colleges, and then throw in the towel for the rest of their lives.
That’s not how life works.
If you continued that way, you would never get a rest. Your college life would burn you out, then your job, then any other future accomplishment you aim for. It’s a cycle, and you would never be able to complete it.
So stop trying.
Take breaks, have fun. If you can’t focus, don’t. Take a break and come back to it. But that doesn’t mean to quit studying all together. When you do study, don’t do it just for the grade: do it for yourself as well. As my dad always tells me: study hard, party hard. When you study, study attentively, and when you’re having fun, set the demons in your brain free.
Remember that your success won’t always be determined by the number of AP’s you take, or how many volunteer hours you gain from organizations you don’t even care about, or even your grades.
Do what you’re interested in. Find a deep interest, something that you could stay curious of for the rest of your life. Passion can fizzle out, but interest never will. Loosen your preconceived notions of success, and for the moment, forget about college.
I want you to show up for your life, no matter what the situation.
It’s never too late.
– Pihu J.